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Happiness is Rain

These days are going quite rough for me. I don't understand why life always gives me lemons all the time, and I still can't make lemonades out of them. I run for happiness, and all I get is just the same old familiar sadness. Maybe this is all I am doing wrong; I am running for happiness, and I should just let it come to me. But then again, I ponder that trying is everything if you don't try for something, how you are supposed to get it? Maybe I am running for the wrong kind of happiness. Perhaps happiness is just in front of me, but the one I am running for could be a fake one. 
Then again, a voice comes from my think tank, Is life all about achieving happiness, or one can live a beautiful life with sadness also? 
Don't you think life is extremely complicated, and we waste our whole life understanding it? We even go beyond and try to control it. Somewhere we know that we can't actually understand life, but even though we try to understand it, we try to control our lives. 
Life is uncertain. It's never going to go as you please. But we always try to prove that we are so humans by making a false attempt to control it.
Bad things are definitely going to happen. People will leave, you will hate your job, nobody will love you, some people will despise you, and you won't be getting that thing you have been struggling to get for so long. All you'll want is love, and all you'll get is hate. You won't be satisfied with what you have; you'll hate yourself.
And just like that bad things list is getting so large. 
As I have said, these days are rough for me. I am struggling a lot. Nothing seems to be going right. 
I have been staying late at the office for the past few weeks. And every day, I leave for home at around 11 or 11:30 pm and sometimes even 12.
I work in an IT company and live in thane. But these days I love going late for home. You may be thinking I am so weird or even psycho. Not so sure about psycho :P but yes, I am a weird creature. Some people say I am from Mars. So why do I like going late for home? Maybe for this..


This is a pic of a way home. Home is 2 km from work. And at night I always prefer walking home. 
It's rainy season in thane, and I so love this rain. It's always raining in thane. I just love the monsoon in Mumbai. Everything looks so green, and you know I love to get wet in the rain, and getting wet when nobody's watching is just heaven for me.
So I prefer to walk home at night when people are at their home watching TV and spending time with their family. I just like to walk slowly and pray for rain just to get wet and enjoy it.
It gives me so much happiness. I savor every moment. Those 30-45 minutes are heaven for me, and when it rains, I feel like what more I can ask for. A sudden smile appears on my face.
I like the way home. It's a tree-lined driveway. A way surrounded by trees on the sidewalks. I walk on sidewalks and beneath the trees. Walking beneath the trees in slow motion and watching the leaves and branches just above you as they move backward sure feels like heaven. At night this looks amazing. Those yellow lights, a chill in the atmosphere, the sound of the wind whispering through the trees, and of course, the peace and your thoughts. No noise from vehicles, no pollution, and no one around. 
In those 30 - 45 minutes, I get all the happiness I am running for.
Maybe that's why my friends say I am from Mars.


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